Enjoying the Wait: For the ladies
In a world where there is so much pressure. A world which is quick to define the word ‘suitable’. 25 is the suitable time to get married. 10 is the suitable dress size. Light is the suitable skin colour. After graduation should come a job and a man.
Its very easy to feel sad and lonely to think there is something wrong with you. It gets even worse when your peers who you went to school with or who you went on single dates with, start to get married. What do you do in this instance:
1. Redefine your mind: Singlehood is a thing of the mind. Define your waiting period as a journey. This has been put as the first point because the mind is truly what engineers our thought processes hence, our emotions. Look at a glass half full or half empty. Same way, you can wake up everyday and tell yourself- I am one day closer to the day I will be found or say cheers to one more day in singlehood. The mind tells you, you’re lonely but redefining your mind can make you understand that you are not alone (lonely) but on a process to getting yourself prepared for what’s about to come. Think- Get married at 30, thats singlehood for 30 years and marriage for 50 years or more. No matter how delayed, on average , one still ends up having more married years than more single years.
2.Focus on self development: The period of wait tests us. Just like going in for a meeting and no one shows up or people show up late. A true test of our patience, anger, people management, leadership skills etc. Most ladies use the period of wait to define what they want not what they want to be. Tall, dark, handsome guy but wait! who are you? are you just a slim, light skinned, beautiful girl? Is that all there is to you? Will the Talk, dark, Handsome guy care to stay when he actually finds you? I see the wait period as a preparatory period. The 30 minutes on the boiler before that cuisine is served. This is the time when habits should be formed. e.g Reading your Bible. Marriage will test you. Especially as the woman of the house. The little time you had for yourself will suddenly start getting stolen by a man who wants quality time with his wife or a baby who wants attention. That alone time, you will struggle to get but if it has become a habit, it will be so easy for you to find that time. The waiting period is a time to form habits, to develop weaknesses and fine tune strengths.
3. Get Busy: An Idle mind is the devil’s workshop. Do you know a human being CANNOT close his eye , mouth and shut his imagination at the same time?. Yes! Once you close your eyes and mouth, your mind travels somewhere! Try it! Same way, the chances of having your mind travel, are minimal when the eyes and ears are busy! Read, Talk, DO SOMETHING! This is the period to activate those senses. When marriage comes are you then going to be a housewife? What are your career goals? This is the time to build capabilities. Read books, draw business plans etc this also leads to the next point.
4. Have Fun: This is the time to draw up a to do list of places to visit and start ticking off! You love to travel? You might just get married to the tall, dark and handsome dude who is an introvert! There goes your travel plans! Do them now! Have all the fun you want and tick your boxes before you are found.
5. Be Careful of Prophecies: In order to tread carefully, I will make this point short. Singlehood is a state where desperation plays a major role (depending on the individual). Desperation is an evident Spirit that is now played on and abused by many. Some people see how unhappy you are and the next thing you hear is, I just heard it clearly- this time next year. Or Tall and fair guy or a choir master. All of a sudden, the mind of the single lady becomes messed up. She goes to church positioning herself around choir masters or just fixing her gaze on them. What has God’s word told you??? The prophecy said 1 year and its 3 years already so you want to lose yourself? Focus on THE WORD OF GOD and not of MAN! Test ALL Spirits and revelations! Ask God to translate dreams as your own day thoughts can easily translate to a dream! No that wasn’t God talking to you. It was you manifesting your wish! Also leads me to my next point:
6. Pray, Pray and Pray: There is absolutely nothing like a praying woman! A woman constantly on her knees has her future standing on a solid foundation. Ever heard ‘these are the days I prayed for’. Pray for God to make you the woman He has willed for you to be. Pray for God to remove weaknesses and excesses. Pray for the right circle of Friends as this is the first step to being found by the right person. Pray for Holy Spirit to be your companion. I prayed earnestly to be able to hear the voice of God while I was single. He spoke to me about my Husband. Today He speaks on everything including when and what to feed my son. What a disaster it could have been if I hadn’t trained my ear in the waiting room. My Husband and I have seen some attractive financial deals but hearing God say NO made the decision so easy.
The achievement a woman can make in the waiting room is tremendous and uncountable. Fact is the more cooking you do on self, the higher your chance of being appreciated by this man when you are found. Our minds are confined into just being found or meeting thi man. What happens afterwards? Will it be a golden relationship or one which has to be patched on a daily basis.
No one says the waiting period is easy. I’ve been there. Sometimes you start to think- I hope i’m ok. I hope i’m beautiful enough. You may even get mood swings after some ‘hangouts’ with friends. How come that guy didn’t get my number. If Only I was a guy, why do I have to wait to be found, can’t I do the finding myself? You might even be found by the wrong one and want to settle (hmmm this is aa sermon on its own) but my ladies, there is honestly work to be done in the waiting room. Do it and watch how you come out shining, shimmering like aa well cooked 3 course platter! May God help us all.